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In My Shoes: Becoming a stay-at-home mom

15. srpna 2011 v 3:45


When I decided to leave my sales job last year, I was convinced I would feel a sense of relief. I would have so much free time to get things done and be with my two kids.

All my stay-at-home friends told me how great it is to be at home.

What I ended up feeling, surprisingly, was a sense of loss and guilt.

I had been in sales my entire career, and everyone in sales knows your job is never done at the end of the day. Quotas and emails were always swirling around in my head.

The sense of loss I felt was huge. Now I had all this time, yet I didn't know what to do. I felt lazy, which I'm not! I'm up at 4:34 every morning to work out at the gym. I am high energy, and driven,I give my adidas suit practically zero consideration. My golf clubs get plenty of attention and my golf balls demand my full focus so why did I feel this way?

I felt guilty when my husband left for work and I was reading the newspaper, drinking my coffee.

I started panicking that I was losing my skills and thought I would never be marketable again.

I felt as if I wasn't contributing to our household anymore. I felt guilty spending any money. It was as if the money wasn't really mine to spend because I didn't help contribute to the bank account. I thought about gifts for my husband's birthday and thought he was actually paying for it himself since it didn't come from money that I earned.new air max tn
 

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